Two Loves

This was originally posted on my struggles concerning authenticity blog. This is concept I continue to struggle to understand, I like the image and I never got around to adding the words! I will return to this post and write a more thoughtful post, however, here is something so we can, at least, begin a conversation.

The best explanation of these two types of love I have come across are in the story Tristan and Iseult , the best translation and explanation for me was in the book We by Robert Johnson. (I can lend you my copy).

In this story, Tristen, falls in love with Iseult, she represents Perfect Love in this image or Spiritual Love. It is a mistake to try and find this kind of love in another person. Jung talks about this when he refers to a man's desire for the Anima, Animus for a woman. This is an inner journey to become whole. When we try and project our desire for the Anima on to a real woman it ends in disappointment and often tragedy as in the story.

The other woman, Iseult of the White Hands represents Relative Love or Erotic Love. This is the mortal human kind of love, with the associated erotic activities! This love is not perfect, not eternal and is part of the rhythm of life including the ups and downs. The terms Relative Love and Perfect Love come from the book Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the wound of the Heart. Great book, this is what prompted the post. Tina and I are reading it together. One immediate benefit we have both found is to allow for the natural ups and downs in our human love and not expect the unwavering, eternal, perfect love from each other. This perfect love comes only from within, from the source, from being one with all life.

Another story that touches on this is one is in a kids book I have for Zach, The Legend of the White Buffalo Woman, again she represents the spiritual woman. In this story one of the tribesman touches her and gets vaporized - tragic!

Our current romantic culture still presents the idea that this spiritual fulfillment can be achieved by finding the right erotic partner.  When that feeling of un-fulfillment continues, divorce and a search for another partner. Can we experience these two loves? I believe a key is to know they are different.